Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
