I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
