i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
