He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
