Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
