i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
