You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Every concussion has its silver lining
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
