why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
