Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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