she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
