I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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