I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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