I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize