btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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