Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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