i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
