i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
