Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize