He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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