fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
