She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
