You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I forget how to act sober
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
