we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
