I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
