I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
