Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
