How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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