At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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