wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
