I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
