two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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