my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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