I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
