STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
