The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
