turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize