You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
