oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize