i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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