thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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