Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize