what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
