That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
