I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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