what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
