I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm passing your future prison.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
