I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
