i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
