idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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