next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I need a burrito and a hug.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
