so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
