She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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