i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
