i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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