Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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