need another drink. this is the easiest way
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
