Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
