If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
