hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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