What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize