I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
