my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
