Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
