I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize