my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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