He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
