im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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