i just had sex bonerless
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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