You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
