dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
