when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
