She's JV to your varsity
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
