i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize