This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize