what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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